A Patient Year

by Chris Rockwell



This song was written in March of 2015.


Still sweeping floors for a living, earning nickels and dimes
It seems like not much has changed with the trickle of time
Except that the dog has died, there's no more barking now
That, and the mall has valet parking now
I'm trying to pull myself up out of a slump
Suburbia's a wasteland, I'm tired of kicking around in this dump
How can I expect my girl to be proud of a chump?
I contemplated going over the edge, but the ledge was too crowded to jump
Took a step back
Looked around, deceived by my eye sockets
Nothing in my pockets but the rent still skyrockets
And I don't wanna give up on the live I've chosen
But it was a damn cold winter and the pipes were frozen
I just gotta get back, dust off the piano
I can hit back harder than I get hit, Rocky Marciano
The beauty in the movement is, as long as I keep trying,
Whatever life I end up with it beats dying, right?

Man, let me get a cup of coffee over here
I'm having a patient year
I could use a cup of coffee over here
I'm having a patient year

I wanna die a defiant death
It would be my only triumph left
To sleep in the silent depth still breathing a lion's breath
In the year of the sheep my people WHISPER
Scared to speak up, we need more resistors
The revolution will come at 33 times per minute
My head's in the clouds because they told me the sky's the limit
And I trusted them, but the same systems that build me have broken me
So I closed myself off from the world, but speak of it openly
I'm in dire need of repair, so is this whole town
Every month, another mom and pop shop closed down
Another house for sale, its family joining the mass exodus
Fleeing the coastline, leaving behind the rest of us
I still got some fight left though, I still won't pull up anchor
But I'm still trying to tell the difference between the hookers and bankers
It's brain numbing
What good is having your head in the clouds if you can't see the rain coming

Can I get another cup of coffee over here?
I'm having a patient year
Oh, charioteer! Please lower your spear
I'm having a patient year

And I'm trying to make sense of the clutter
Reminding myself that everything is connected
From the street light to the gutter
From the blood red wine to the bread and the butter
Bring it home to my mother, call that the lord's supper
She still prays before she eats, I bow my head in silence
I feel superstitious asking for wishes from invisible giants
Been struggling with a lot lately
Like, if there is a god, does god hate me?
I'm depressed, there's a war in my chest, but I fought bravely
I sought safety in the same arms that held me back
Almost blew it all, thought I knew it all
You couldn't tell me jack
Built a lot of walls, covered them in graffiti
Now I'm trying to knock them down
It ain't exactly easy
It's not just like I've got this wrecking ball at my beckon call
If I could, I would just let them fall
And get back to the essence while I'm still willing and able
I pray to my fallen tape decks and turntables

I'm saying let me get one more cup of coffee over here
I'm having a patient year
Oh Charioteer! Please lower your spear
I'm having a patient year
Can I get one last cup of coffee over here
I'm having a patient year
And I've been waiting for my savior to appear
I think the savior is here


released June 4, 2015
Written and produced by Chris Rockwell
Engineered and recorded by Will "New Star" Smith

Copyright 2015 Chris Rockwell


all rights reserved



Chris Rockwell New Jersey

Chris Rockwell has been performing hip-hop music and spoken word poetry for the last ten years. In 2013, he self released his album, Buildings Will Collapse, at The Berkeley Hotel in Asbury Park, NJ with his newly formed backing band, The Stickball Social Club, to a capacity crowd. He is a two-time nationally competing slam poet, and in 2010 he was named Poet Laureate of Asbury Park. ... more

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